When I Take a long time to finish,
I am slow,
When my boss takes a long time,
he is thorough
When I don't do it,
I am lazy,
When my boss does not do it,
he is busy,
When I do something without being told,
I am trying to
be smart,
When my boss does the same,
he takes the initiative,
When I please my boss,
I am apple polishing,
When my boss pleases his boss,
he is cooperating,
When I make a mistake,
you're an idiot.
When my boss makes a mistake,
he's only human.
When I am out of the office,
I am wandering around.
When my boss is out of the office,
he's on business.
When I am on a day off sick,
I am always sick.
When my boss is a day off sick,
he must be very ill.
When I apply for leave,
I must be going for an
interview
When my boss applies for leave,
it's because he's
overworked
When I do good,
my boss never remembers,
When I do wrong,
he never forgets
2007-07-02
ME and MY BOSS
Posted by
Mr. V
at
10:18 AM
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comments
Labels: boss, forwards, fresher, fun, funny, jokes, office humour, software
2007-06-20
Ramayana by Bill Gates...
LAN, LAN ago, in the SYSTEM of I/O-dhya, there
ruled a PROCESSOR named DOS-rat. Once he
EXECUTED a great sacrifice PROGRAM after which
his queens gave an OUTPUT of four SUNs - RAM,
LSIman, BUG-rat and SED-rughana.
RAM the eldest was a MICROCHIP with excellent
MEMORY. His brothers, however, were only
PERIPHERAL ICs. Once when RAM was only 16MB, he
married princess C ta.
12 years passed and DOS-rat decided to INSTALL
RAM as his successor.However, Queen CIE/CAE
(Kayegayee), who was once offered a boon by DOS-
rat for a lifesaving HELP COMMAND, took this
opportunity at the instigation of her BIOSed maid
and insisted that her son Bug-rat be INSTALLED and
that RAM be CUT-N-PASTED to the forest for 14
years. At this cruel and unexpected demand, a SURGE
passed through DOS-rat and he CRASHED like
unstable version of AI MSN does in intel. RAM agreed to LOG INTO forest and C ta insisted to
LOGIN with him. LSI-man also resolved on LOGGING
IN with his brother. The forest was the dwelling of
SPARCnakha, the TRAN-SISTOR of RAW-van,
PROCESSOR of LAN-ka. Attracted by RAM, she
proposed that he should marry her. RAM, politely
declined, perceiving C ta to be his SOURCE CODE.
She hastened to kill her but LSI-man cut her
inportant PERIPHERALS. Weeping, SPARC-nakha fled
to LAN-ka, where RAW-van, moved by TRAN-SIS
TOR s plight, approached his uncle MAR-icha. MAR-
icha REPROGRAMED himself to form a golden stag
and drew RAM deep into the forest. Finally, RAM
shot the deer, which, with his last breath, cried out
for LSI-man in voice of RAM s SOUND CARD. Fooled
by this VIRTUAL RAM SOUND, C ta urged LSI-man
to his brother s aid. Catching the opportunity, RAW-
van DELINKED C ta from her LIBRARY and changed
her ROOT DIRECTORY to LAN-ka.
---------------------------------INTERVAL---------------------------------------------
RAM and LSI-man started SEARCHING for the
missing C ta all over the forest. They made friendship
with the forest SYSTEM ADMINISTRATOR Akshat
sorry... SU-greev and his powerful co-processor Ha-
NEUMAN. who agreed to help RAM. SU-greev
ordered his PROGRAMMERS to use powerful
SEARCH techniques learnt in CS130 to FIND the
missing C ta. His PROGRAMMERS SEARCHED
allaround the INTER-NETworked forests. Many tried
to EXCITE the birds and animals not to forget the
WEBCRAWLERS (Insects) and tried to INFOSEEK
something about C ta. Some of them even shouted
YAA-HOO but they all ended up with NO FOUND
MESSAGES Google, Lycos nothing was left
untouched. The only thing they forgot was to mail
iitcse01 & get PTI s help. Ha-NEUMAN then devised
a RISCy TECHNOLOGY and used it to cross the seas
at an astonishing CLOCK SPEED. Soon Ha-NEUMAN
DOWNLOADED himself into LAN-ka. Ha-NEUMAN
found C ta under a brown - green (as Brahma will call
it) TREE STRUCTURE Ha-NEUMAN used the LOGIN
ID (ring) to identify himself to C ta. After
DECRYPTING THE KEY, C ta asked him to send
STATUS_OK MESSAGE to RAM.Meanwhile all raakshasa BUGS around C ta captured
Ha-NEUMAN to DELETE him using everything
including
Ctrl-Alt-Del. But Ha-NEUMAN spread chaos by
spreading VIRUS Fire . Ha-NEUMAN pressed
ESCAPE from LAN-kaand & conveyed all the STATUS
MESSAGES to RAM and SU-greev. RAW-wan
decided to take RAM head-on. One of the RAW-wan s
SUN almost DELETED LSI-man with a Brahma -astra.
But Ha-NEUMAN resorted to some ACTIVE-
Xgradients and REFORMATTED LSI-man. RAM used
the SOURCE CODE secrets of RAW-wan and wiped
out RAW-wan s presence on earth. Later, RAM got
INSTALLED in I/O-dhya and spreaded his USER
FRIENDLY PROGRAMS to all USERS and everyone
lived happily ever after, playing & enjoying AOE.
Posted by
Mr. V
at
8:20 AM
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comments
2007-06-16
Shivaji Review (Telugu)
story ::
NRI Sivaji(Rajinikanth) 20years US lo earn chesina dabbu ni India development ki use3 cheyalani return vachesthadu.LKG nunchi P.G. varaku free education andinche Sivaji University,Free ga service chese super speciality hospital establish cheyalanukuntadu.Corporate Hospitals,Educational institutions tho Crores of Rupees dabbu sampadinchi State lo Powergame aade Aadi Seshu(Suman) andhuku addu padathadu.Sampadinchina motham dabbu tho patu appu kuda chesi Sivaji construct chesina University,Hospital ni padagottamani Government orders teppisthadu Aadi Seshu,Kattu battalatho road pie nilabadina Sivaji ki okka Rupai 'Mushti' ga isthadu.How Sivaji bounced back &fullfill his dream anedhi remaining story.
Higlights:
More than 10years nunchi audience,Industry edhuru chusina dream Combination Rajinikanth -Shankar.. aa combination piena audience pettukunna expectations ni chala varaku reach ayyaru ani cheppali.
Rajinikanth is trendy in his new hair style.But at times he looks odd(seems like Shankar's idea of Chubby cheeks didn't work).performance,mannerisms bagunnayi.He has plenty of new mannerisms like throwing chewing gum into mouth,tossing the coin,tapping on his bald head,rotating the goggles.
Shankar again came with a message oriented & innovative concept,Using the Black money for people.He used the technology at it's best.First half routine anipinchina Second half is too good,tempo maintain cheyatam lo Shankar success ayyaru.
Sriya looks at her best.She is sweet as a tradional Telugu girl Uma Devi and sexy in songs.
AR Rahman's music,KV anand's cinematography,Thota Tarani's art are excellent.
Rajinikanth,Vivek Comedy bagundhi.
Dialogues(original dialogues -Sujatha,Telugu version-Sri Ramakrishna)bagunnayi.they have the punch,they are funny.Punch dialogues tho kuda comedy chesaru.
songs..Vaaji vaaji,atiradhee(with plenty of Typical Rajini mark mannerisms,fans ki pandaga e song) picturisation bagundhi.Ballelekka(Nayanatara song)bagundhi kani song lead baledhu.all songs are picturised on grand scale.
Side lights:
3 hours cinema.
First half lo entertainment unna...it looks very Similar to Rajinikanth& Shankar's earlier movies.
Lyrics are not par with Shanakar's earlier films.
Idhi kuda Shankar regular ga teese message oriented cinema ne kabatti 'idhi kuda anthe kadhaa' ane comments vinipinchayi.
Etc..,Etc..,
Aaku chatu pinda thadise,Nee kallu chebuthunnayi nanu preminchavani,Abba nee teeyani debba songs ki NTR,ANR,Chiranjeevi getups lo Rajini dance ki response adirindhi.
Public Talk: Not upto expectetations.. but definitely worth watching.
Industry talk: Talk bagane undhi.Tamil lo baga aaduthundhi,no doubt.ikkada Rs.20 Crores business ayindhi,antha collect chesthundha anedhi doubt.
Posted by
Mr. V
at
5:14 AM
1 comments
Labels: forwards, fun, moive of the year, mottai, movies, rajani shivaji review, shankar, shivaji, shivaji review, super star, tamil, tollywood
Salman Raj === Chiranjeevi ???
This is just a rumor/observation by the grapevine.. !! may not be true at all or may be true partly. but it tells something about the behavior/buildup/ego of big heores..so called legends and some celebrities !! hope they will learn something from this character and behave accordingly giving full freedom to the Director(captain of the movie)
Posted by
Mr. V
at
3:01 AM
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comments
Labels: celebrities, chiranjeevi, chiru, comedy, dubai seenu, forwards, fun, funny, legends, megastar, movies, parady, rumours, salman raju, telugu, tollywood
2007-06-13
Sholay revised!! in software industry
Gabbar sends Kaalia and two others to Ramgad to collect the loot-maar software he had ordered.
They reach Ramgad and start shouting: "Abe O thakur! Kahan hai woh loot-maar software?
Last date to kab ka nikal gaya".
Thakur [with anger]: "Chillao mat! jaakar Gabbar se kah do ki Thakur Software walon ne paagal kutton ke liye software banana bund kar diya hai."
Kaalia: "Bahoot garmi dikha rahe ho thakur? Koi naye programmers hire kiye hain kya?"
Thakur: "Nazar uttha ke dekh, Kaalia, tere sar par powerbuilder chal raha hai."
Kaalia looks up and sees Viru (Dharmendra) working on a PC on one Water tank and Jay (Amitabh) on another, using a laptop.
Kaalia Starts Laughing and says: "Ha ha... thakur ne freshers ko liya hai ye log Programming karenge? In ko to DOS commands bhi nahin aate."
Veeru shouts: "Chup-chaap chala ja kutte. Hum log consultants hain, Kuch bhi kar sakte hain."
Jay hits his keyboard,then says:"jaao kaalia, Gabbar se kahna ki uska server down ho gaya."
AT GABBAR'S DEN...
Gabbar: "Kitne bugs the?"
Kaalia: "Do sarkaar."
Gabbar: "Wo do! Aur tum teen. Phir bhi fix nahi kar sake? Kya soch key aaye ho? Gabbar bahoot khush hoga? Naya assignment dega ...aur increment bhi? Iski saza milegi... barobar milegi.
" [Snatches an X terminal from Sambaa]. "Kitne sessions hain is machine mein?"
Sambaa: "Chhey sarkaar."
Gabbar: "Session chhey aur programmer teen. Bahoot naainsaafi hai.
" [logout - logout - logout].
"Haan ab theek hai... ab tera kya hoga" Kaalia?"
Kaalia: "Sarkaar, maine aapka code likha tha."
Gabbar: "To ab documentation kar!
Java Interview With Sardhar
Q. How will you call an Applet from a Java Script?
A. I will give invitation Card.
Q. What is JVM ?
A. Jilebi, Vada & Maaza
Q. Explain 2 tier and 3 -tier Architecture ?
A. Two wheelers like scooters will have 2 tyres and autorickshaws will
have 3 tyres.
Q. I want to store more than 10 objects in a remote server ? Which
methodology will follow ?
A. Send it through courier.
Q. Can I modify an object in CORBA ?
A. As you wish , I do not have any objections.
Q. How to communicate 2 threads each other ?
A. Non living things can't communicate.
Q. What is meant by flickering ?
A. Closing and opening of eyes at girls.
Q. Explain RMI Architecture?
A. I am a computer professional not an architect student.
Q. What is the use of Servlets ?
A. In hotels, they can replace servers.
Q. What is the dif ference between Process and Threads ?
A. Threads are small ropes. Make a rope from threads is an example for
process.
Q. When is update method called ?
A. Who is update method?
Q. What is JAR file ?
A. File that can be kept inside a jar.
Q. What is JINI ?
A. A ghost which was Aladdin's friend.
Q. How you can know about drivers and database information ?
A. I will go and enquire in the bus depot.
Q. What is serialization ?
A. Arranging one after the other from left to right.
Q. What is bean ? Where it can be used ?
A. A kind of vegetable. In kitchens for cooking they can be used.
Q. Write down how will you create a binary Tree ?
A. When we sow a binary seed , a binary tree will grow.
Q. What is the exact difference between Unicast and Multicast object ?
A. If in a society, if there is only one caste, then it is Unicast,
else it is multicast
water on Mars !! Nasa Pic..superb
Posted by
Mr. V
at
10:05 AM
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Labels: comedy, fool, forwards, fun, funny, mails, nasa, scientific
Who works for India ?
The population of India is 100 crores.
100,000,00,000
But 19 crores are retired -19,000,00,000
That leaves 81 crores do the work 81,000,00,000
There are 25 crores in school - 25,000,00,000
which leaves 56 crores to do the work- 56,000,00,000
Of this there are 22 crores employed by the Central Govt -22,000,00,000 ( No Use )
leaving 34 crores to do the work 34,000,00,000
4 crores are in the Armed Forces -4,000,00,000 (Salute them)
which leaves 30 crores to do the work -30,000,00,0 00
Take away from above total the 20 crores people work for State Governments
(State Government employees officially do not work!)
-20,000,00,000
and that leaves 10 crores to do the work 10,000,00,000
Total unemployed are 8 crores -8,000,00,000
and that leaves 2 crores to do the work -2,000,00,000
At any given time there are 1.2 crore people in hospitals -1,200,00,000
leaving 80 lakhs to do the work 80,00,000
Now, according to Indian Statistical Institute, there are -79,99,998
people are in prisons throughout the country -79,99,998
That leaves just 2 people to do the work.......
2
You and me!!!
And currently YOU are sitting at your computer reading my BLOG .
So I am the only person in our country who is working! And that's why India
is surviving!!!
Now, please log out and do your job because, for a change, I
want to rest. And I don't want India to suffer because of that.
Telangana Style Pelli Pilupu
2007-06-08
Development of W.I.F.E »

what is LOVE? what is MARRIAGE?
A student asks a teacher, "What is love?"
The teacher said, "in order to answer your question, go to the wheat field and choose the biggest wheat and come back. But the rule is: - you can go through them only once & cannot turn back to pick."
The student went to the field, go thru first row, he saw one big wheat, but he wonders....may be there is a bigger one later. Then he saw another bigger one... but may be there is an even bigger one waiting for him. Later, when he finished more than half of the wheat field, he starts to realise that the wheat is not as big as the previous one he saw, he knew he has missed the biggest one, and he regretted. So, he ended up went back to the teacher with empty hand. The teacher told him, "...this is love... you keep looking for better ones, but when later you realise, you have already missed the person...."*
"What is marriage then?" the student asked.
The teacher said, "in order to answer your question, go to the corn field and choose the biggest corn and come back. But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick."
The student went to the corn field, this time he is careful not to repeat the previous mistake, when he reach the middle of the field, he has picked one medium sized corn that he felt satisfied, and came back to the teacher.
The teacher told him, "this time you bring back a corn.... you look for one that is just nice, and you have faith and believe this is the best one you get.... this is marriage."*
Bommarillu Climax Scene.. !
(In Telugu)
In his meeting with his Project Leader after a long time, Ravik explodes ....
Antha meere cheesaru... Motham meere cheesaru....
Chalu Sir... vachinnapadinunchi meeru naacheta cheyinchindi chalu, nenu kolpoindi chalu, inka oddu please....
sir: emindi ravik neeku? em kolpoyavu?
Inka ardam kaaleda meeku. Ee COMPANY ki ochhinappudu naa deggara emundo, velipoyetappudu emiledho ade Sir nenu kolipoindi- Programming skills.
Chinna chinna skills kuda kolipoyanu Sir meevalla.
Meereppudu mee team cheta goppa project cheyinchali, R&D work cheyinchalani alochistharu. Kaani nakem vachoo, nenemi cheyyagalanoo meeru thelusukooru.
sir: rey ravik..neeku edina pani ichemundu dani gurinchi 1000 sarlu aalochista ani neeku telusu kada ra.. !
Avunu.... 1000 saarlu client requirements satisfy ayyaya ani alochisthaare tappa, oka saari ayina nenu adi chayyagalanaa ani alochinchhara.
cheyyagaligina danikanna ekkuva work ivvadamlo satisfaction meeku telusu, kaani ichina work avvakapothe andhulo unde baadha meeku thelidu- naaku thelusu.
Asalu naatho maatladithega theliseedi nenemi chestunnanoo. Edaina problem unte team lo vunna migilina vaallani pilichi maatlaaduthaaru. Naatho maatladandi Sir. Na work choosi cheppandi Sir. Friendly ga undandi Sir.
sir: nene kada ra neetho eppudu friendly ga vundara ani cheppedi.. !
Chepputhaaru , kani undaru. Endukante antha meeku nachhinatte jaragalikada.
Cheyyalsina Language meere select chesthaaru, meere super antaru, kani adi work out avutundoo ledoo kooda choodakundane meeru nanne convince chesesthaaru.
Naku ela untundo telusa- idi raadu... nenu cheyyalenu ani aravalani anipistundi.
USE CASES cheyyamantaru. Nenu chestanu. Kaani cheselope LLD ki marchestaru. Navvuthunnru Sir naa project choosi maa freinds.
Hey ravik.... sample program cheyyi antaru. Nenedoo code raastaanu.
Meermoo CODING STANDARDS follow avvu.... COMMENTS rayyi.....FUNCTIONS RAYATAM try cheyyi....
ani roju naa chutto tirugutoo arustoo vuntaru.
Nenelaa code rayaloo kooda meere decide chesesthe...nenu enduku Sir program raayadam....
Chivariki program elaa debug cheyyaaloo kooda meere cheppestunte... Complie kavatam ledu Sir.
Meeku teleedu. meeru cheppindi cheyyalekaa, naaku vachhindi cheppaleeka, narakam choosanu Sir... narakam.
Frustration, kopam, chiraaku. Evarimeedha choopinchaalo, ela choopinchaalo kooda theliyakapothe chivariki oka rooju Ileana(Ravik lover) meeda kooda arichesaanu. Daanitho Ileana naatho matladatham manesindi……. Asalu nenendhuku ala unnano Ileana ke ardam kakapothe inka meekela telustundi Sir.
Ippudu neenemi cheyali Sir. BUGS FIX cheyyali..anthe kadaa. Chestanu Sir. Kaani ippatidaaka nenu chesinaa UI DESIGNING....PROGRAMMING …. evemi work out kaaledu Sir.
Kaani ippudu chestunna Singapore project kachitam gaa Reuslt ravali. kaani edo oka roju adi kooda raadu ani telisipotundi kadaa. Appudu naa project spoil ayyindi ani meere badhapadataru.
Inthavaraku meeroka guide gaa gelichaanu anukuntunaaru kadaa ???. Kaani mimmalni gelipinchadaaniki rendu yellaga neenu odipothoone unnanu.
ilaage oddipothu unthe, year ending lo entra naa project ani chooste andulo emi vundadu.
Innallu nenu project cheyyatledu sir, chestunnattu act chesanu, ika mundu kooda alage untanu.
Kaani naado request sir... nenu cheyyaleni work ichhesi nenedo cheseyyalani maathram korukovoddu sir, please….
Mr. Narayana Murthy's views on staying late in the office!!!!!!!
It's half past 8 in the office but the lights are still on...PCs still running, coffee machines still buzzing... and who's at work?
Most of them??? Take a closer look......
All or most specimens are?????-some male species of the human race!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...
Look close... again all or most of them are bachelors...and why are they sitting late? Working hard? No way!!!
Any guesses???
Let's ask one of them...
Here's what he says... "What's there to do after going home... here we get to surf the Net, AC, Phone, Food, Coffee.. That is why I am working late...most importantly no bossssssss!!!!!!!!!!!
This is the scene in most Research centers and Software companies and other Off-shore offices.
Bachelors "time-passing" during late hours in the office just because they say they've nothing else to do...
Now what are the consequences... read on...
"Working"(for the record only) late hours soon becomes part of the institute or company culture.
With bosses more than eager to provide support to those "working" late in the form of Taxi vouchers, Food vouchers and of course Good feedback,(oh, he's a hard worker... goes home only to change..!!).They aren't helping things too... To hell with bosses who don't understand the difference between "sitting" late and "working" late!!!
Very soon, the boss starts expecting all employees to put in extra working hours.
So, my dear Bachelors, let me tell you, life changes when u get married and start having a family... Office is no longer a priority, Family is... and that's when the problem starts... because you start having commitments at home too!!!!!!.
1. For your boss, the earlier "hardworking" guy suddenly seems to become an "early leaver" even if u leave an hour after regular time... after doing the same amount of work.
2. People leaving on time after doing their tasks for the day are labeled as work-shirkers...
3. Girls who thankfully always (its changing nowadays... though) leave on time are labeled as "not up to it".
All the while, the bachelors pat their own backs and carry on "working" not realizing that they are spoiling the work culture at their own place and never realize that they would have to regret at one point of time.
So what's the moral of the story?? *
* Very clear, LEAVE ON TIME!!!
* Never put in extra time " *unless really needed*
* Don't stay back un-necessarily and spoil your company work culture which will in turn cause inconvenience to you and your colleagues.
There are hundred other things to do in the evening..
* Learn music...
* Learn a foreign language...
* Try a sport... TT, Cricket, Exercise etc etc
* Importantly Get a girl friend or gal friend, take him/her around town...
* And for heaven's sake, Internet cafe rates have dropped to an all-time low (plus, no fire-walls) and try cooking for a change.
* Take a tip from the Smirnoff ad: *"Life's calling, where are you??"*
* Please pass on this message to all those colleagues and please do it before leaving time, don't stay back till midnight to forward this!!!
IT'S A TYPICAL INDIAN MENTALITY THAT WORKING FOR LONG HOURS MEANS VERY HARD WORKING & 100% COMMITMENT ETC. PEOPLE WHO REGULARLY SIT LATE IN THE OFFICE DON'T KNOW HOW TO MANAGE THEIR TIME.
That's the Bottom Line......SIMPLE!!!!!!!!
Narayan Murthy. shortly NRN :)
Posted by
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at
9:39 PM
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Labels: bench, engineer, forwards, fresher, fun, humour, mails, narayana murthy, NRN, office, software, staying late in office, time pass
How Girlz rate Guyz?
Girls’ relationship with guys is a bigger mystery than girls themselves.
It’s not just about boyfriends, we’re talking about guy friends that gals have.
Do you have a gal who is just a friend? Are confused why the frequency of calls increases as exams loom closer? Or why she always hangs around with the moron who isn’t fit to wear Jeetendra’s white shoes? Here’s a ready reckoner for you:
% just a friend %
Well, you are like a show piece in my house. I will call you whenever I need you. If you call me home the chances are 9 out of 10 times she might say, “Oh Ravik, I am going out can you call me after 2 days??”
Ravik: “Where are you going Anushka??”
Anushka: “None of your business” and bangs the phone.(Useless fellow.Hmmph!).
% Good Friend %
You are like a TV remote control. I need you and I know that. But I try using you when I really need you.
Ravik calls: “Hi Anushka”,
Anushka: “Hi Ravik. I am going out with family I will call you back. Bye”
(Anushka calls back after two days)
Anushka: “What do you want Ravik? Why did you call that day?”.
Ravik: “Generally”.
Anushka: “Oh ok. I got to go out. Will call you later. Bye.”
Will call when she needs lecture notes or some concert tickets.
% Very good friend %
Well you are like the pressure cooker safety value for the girl.
She will need you when she wants to bring out her pain or anger on someone.
Basically, she wants to talk to you. And you are special to her.
Anushka: “You know Ravik, Mahesh babu is not eating. He doesn’t sleep and is not able to concentrate on his studies. I think he doesn’t like me anymore. And yesterday I saw him with another girl”.
Ravik: “Who is Mahesh??”
Anushka: “My boyfriend.”
Ravik: Oh! Ok.
% Best Friend %
You are like the auto rickshaw driver. She can’t live without you.
And don’t be mistaken. You are not her boyfriend. But you are allowed to take her little doggie around the park so that he (not you!) can have fun.
Ravik Shopping. Ravik Movie. Ravik Coffee. Ravik,you pay. I am having fun.
Ravik is now sure that he should go ahead and propose. He dares.
Anushka: “But I thought we were just friends. We should remain friends
Ravik. Plus, I have a boy friend you know that.”
Ravik: What?? (Ravik drinks all night).
% Best of the Bestest Friends %
Ok now you are really special.
You are dad-cum-boyfriend-cum-brother-cum-everything.
Ultimately you are the darling servant of the girl.
You take her around.
You make her project.
You do her assignments.
You are allowed to take her doggie around.
You can hold hands on the beach.
You can see the sun set with her (because she wants to do everything she drags you along).
But but but… Don’t be mistaken. She has a boyfriend who works for a huge software company and earns 3 times the salary you earn and has a flat in PoesGardenor Boat Club or Hiranandani area.
Anushka: “Hi Ravik. I am getting engaged to Mahesh. Mahesh this is Ravik, he is my bestest friend”.
Ravik: Hi Mahesh . (Hand shake. Mahesh breaks Ravik’s wrist).
Ravik is now heart broken and wrist broken.
% Boyfriend %
Uh… No comments dude. You’re already Gone!
********
Now ~ where do you stand?
********
Office Humour...
After 2 years of selfless service, a man realized that he has not been promoted, no transfer, no salary increment, no commendation. So he decided to walk up to his HR Manager. His manager looked at him, smiled and asked him to sit down saying:"My friend you have not worked here for even a single day." The man was surprised to hear this, but the manager went on to explain.
Manager: How many days are there in a year? Man: 365 days and sometimes 366. Manager: How many hours make up a day?Man: 24 Hours.
Manager: How long do u work in a day?
Man: 10am to 6pm i.e 8 hours a day.
Manager: So, what fraction of the day do u work in hours?
Man: He did some arithmetic and said 8/24 i.e 1/3 (one third).
Manager: This is nice of u! what is 1/3rd of 366 days?
Man: 122(1/3 x 366=122 in days)
Manager: Do u come to work on weekends?
Man: No sir.
Manager: How many days r there in a year that r weekends?
Man: 52 Saturdays and 52 Sundays equals to 104 days.
Manager: Thanks for that. If u remove 104 days from 122 days. how many days do u now have?
Man: 18 days.
Manager: I do give u 2 weeks sick leave every year. Now remove that 14 days from the 18 days left. How many days do u have remaining?
Man: 4 days.
Manager: Do u work on Republic Day?
Man: No sir!
Manager: Do u come to work on Independence Day?
Man: No sir!
Manager: So how many days r left?
Man: 2 days Sir!
Manager: Do u come to work on New Years Day?
Man: No sir!
Manager: So how many days r left?
Man: 1 day sir!
Manager: Do u work on Christmas Day?
Man: No Sir!
Manager: So how many days r left?
Man: None Sir!
Manager: So what r u claiming? Man: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!... Moral - NEVER GO TO HR FOR HELP!!! HR - HIGH RISK.







