ME and MY BOSS

When I Take a long time to finish,
I am slow,
When my boss takes a long time,
he is thorough




When I don't do it,
I am lazy,
When my boss does not do it,
he is busy,



When I do something without being told,
I am trying to
be smart,
When my boss does the same,
he takes the initiative,



When I please my boss,
I am apple polishing,
When my boss pleases his boss,
he is cooperating,



When I make a mistake,
you're an idiot.
When my boss makes a mistake,
he's only human.



When I am out of the office,
I am wandering around.
When my boss is out of the office,
he's on business.



When I am on a day off sick,
I am always sick.
When my boss is a day off sick,
he must be very ill.



When I apply for leave,
I must be going for an
interview
When my boss applies for leave,
it's because he's
overworked



When I do good,
my boss never remembers,
When I do wrong,
he never forgets

Ramayana by Bill Gates...

LAN, LAN ago, in the SYSTEM of I/O-dhya, there

ruled a PROCESSOR named DOS-rat. Once he

EXECUTED a great sacrifice PROGRAM after which

his queens gave an OUTPUT of four SUNs - RAM,

LSIman, BUG-rat and SED-rughana.

RAM the eldest was a MICROCHIP with excellent

MEMORY. His brothers, however, were only

PERIPHERAL ICs. Once when RAM was only 16MB, he

married princess C ta.

12 years passed and DOS-rat decided to INSTALL

RAM as his successor.However, Queen CIE/CAE

(Kayegayee), who was once offered a boon by DOS-

rat for a lifesaving HELP COMMAND, took this

opportunity at the instigation of her BIOSed maid

and insisted that her son Bug-rat be INSTALLED and

that RAM be CUT-N-PASTED to the forest for 14

years. At this cruel and unexpected demand, a SURGE

passed through DOS-rat and he CRASHED like

unstable version of AI MSN does in intel. RAM agreed to LOG INTO forest and C ta insisted to

LOGIN with him. LSI-man also resolved on LOGGING

IN with his brother. The forest was the dwelling of

SPARCnakha, the TRAN-SISTOR of RAW-van,

PROCESSOR of LAN-ka. Attracted by RAM, she

proposed that he should marry her. RAM, politely

declined, perceiving C ta to be his SOURCE CODE.

She hastened to kill her but LSI-man cut her

inportant PERIPHERALS. Weeping, SPARC-nakha fled

to LAN-ka, where RAW-van, moved by TRAN-SIS

TOR s plight, approached his uncle MAR-icha. MAR-

icha REPROGRAMED himself to form a golden stag

and drew RAM deep into the forest. Finally, RAM

shot the deer, which, with his last breath, cried out

for LSI-man in voice of RAM s SOUND CARD. Fooled

by this VIRTUAL RAM SOUND, C ta urged LSI-man

to his brother s aid. Catching the opportunity, RAW-

van DELINKED C ta from her LIBRARY and changed

her ROOT DIRECTORY to LAN-ka.

---------------------------------INTERVAL---------------------------------------------

RAM and LSI-man started SEARCHING for the

missing C ta all over the forest. They made friendship

with the forest SYSTEM ADMINISTRATOR Akshat

sorry... SU-greev and his powerful co-processor Ha-

NEUMAN. who agreed to help RAM. SU-greev

ordered his PROGRAMMERS to use powerful

SEARCH techniques learnt in CS130 to FIND the

missing C ta. His PROGRAMMERS SEARCHED

allaround the INTER-NETworked forests. Many tried

to EXCITE the birds and animals not to forget the

WEBCRAWLERS (Insects) and tried to INFOSEEK

something about C ta. Some of them even shouted

YAA-HOO but they all ended up with NO FOUND

MESSAGES Google, Lycos nothing was left

untouched. The only thing they forgot was to mail

iitcse01 & get PTI s help. Ha-NEUMAN then devised

a RISCy TECHNOLOGY and used it to cross the seas

at an astonishing CLOCK SPEED. Soon Ha-NEUMAN

DOWNLOADED himself into LAN-ka. Ha-NEUMAN

found C ta under a brown - green (as Brahma will call

it) TREE STRUCTURE Ha-NEUMAN used the LOGIN

ID (ring) to identify himself to C ta. After

DECRYPTING THE KEY, C ta asked him to send

STATUS_OK MESSAGE to RAM.Meanwhile all raakshasa BUGS around C ta captured

Ha-NEUMAN to DELETE him using everything

including

Ctrl-Alt-Del. But Ha-NEUMAN spread chaos by

spreading VIRUS Fire . Ha-NEUMAN pressed

ESCAPE from LAN-kaand & conveyed all the STATUS

MESSAGES to RAM and SU-greev. RAW-wan

decided to take RAM head-on. One of the RAW-wan s

SUN almost DELETED LSI-man with a Brahma -astra.

But Ha-NEUMAN resorted to some ACTIVE-

Xgradients and REFORMATTED LSI-man. RAM used

the SOURCE CODE secrets of RAW-wan and wiped

out RAW-wan s presence on earth. Later, RAM got

INSTALLED in I/O-dhya and spreaded his USER

FRIENDLY PROGRAMS to all USERS and everyone

lived happily ever after, playing & enjoying AOE.

MALLU'S ACCENT ~ ULTIMATE~(Just for fun)

1) What is the tax on a Mallu's income called?
IngumDax

2) Where did the Malayali study?
In the ko-liage.

3) Why did the Malayali not go to ko-liage today?
He is very bissi.

4) Why did the Malayali buy an air-ticket?
To go to Thuubai, zimbly to meet his ungle in Gelff.

5) Why do Malayalis go to the Gelff?
To yearn meney.

6) What did the Malayali do when the plane caught fire?
He zimbly jembd out of the vindow.

7) How does a Malayali spell moon?
MOON - Yem Woh yet another Woh and Yen

8) What is Malayali management graduate called?
Yem Bee Yae.

9) What does a Malayali do when he goes to America ?
He changes his name from Karunakaran to Kevin Curren.

10) What does a Malayali use to commute to office everyday?
An Oto

11) Where does he pray?
In a Temble, Charch and a Maask

12) Who is Bruce Lee's best friend ?
A Malaya-Lee of coarse.

13) Name the only part of the werld, where Malayalis dont werk hard?
Kerala.

14) Why is industrial productivity so low in Kerala?
Because 86% of the shift time is spent on lifting, folding and re-tying the lungi

15) Why did Saddam Hussain attackKuwait?
He had a Mallu baby-sitter, who always used to say 'KEEP QUWAIT' 'KEEP QUWAIT'

16) What is the Latest Malayali Punch Line?
" Frem Tea Shops To Koll Cenders , We Are Yevery Where "

17) Why aren't Mals included in hockey and football teams ?
Coz Whenever they get a corner , they set up a tea shop.

18) Now pass it on to 5 Mals to get a free sample of kokanet oil.

19) Pass it on 10 Mals to get a free pack of Benana Chibbs.

20) Pass it on to 15 Mals to get a set of BROGUN bones....

Salman Raj === Chiranjeevi ???

This is just a rumor/observation by the grapevine.. !! may not be true at all or may be true partly. but it tells something about the behavior/buildup/ego of big heores..so called legends and some celebrities !! hope they will learn something from this character and behave accordingly giving full freedom to the Director(captain of the movie)

Sholay revised!! in software industry

Gabbar sends Kaalia and two others to Ramgad to collect the loot-maar software he had ordered.

They reach Ramgad and start shouting: "Abe O thakur! Kahan hai woh loot-maar software?

Last date to kab ka nikal gaya".

Thakur [with anger]: "Chillao mat! jaakar Gabbar se kah do ki Thakur Software walon ne paagal kutton ke liye software banana bund kar diya hai."

Kaalia: "Bahoot garmi dikha rahe ho thakur? Koi naye programmers hire kiye hain kya?"

Thakur: "Nazar uttha ke dekh, Kaalia, tere sar par powerbuilder chal raha hai."

Kaalia looks up and sees Viru (Dharmendra) working on a PC on one Water tank and Jay (Amitabh) on another, using a laptop.


Kaalia Starts Laughing and says: "Ha ha... thakur ne freshers ko liya hai ye log Programming karenge? In ko to DOS commands bhi nahin aate."

Veeru shouts: "Chup-chaap chala ja kutte. Hum log consultants hain, Kuch bhi kar sakte hain."

Jay hits his keyboard,then says:"jaao kaalia, Gabbar se kahna ki uska server down ho gaya."

AT GABBAR'S DEN...

Gabbar: "Kitne bugs the?"
Kaalia: "Do sarkaar."

Gabbar: "Wo do! Aur tum teen. Phir bhi fix nahi kar sake? Kya soch key aaye ho? Gabbar bahoot khush hoga? Naya assignment dega ...aur increment bhi? Iski saza milegi... barobar milegi.

" [Snatches an X terminal from Sambaa]. "Kitne sessions hain is machine mein?"

Sambaa: "Chhey sarkaar."

Gabbar: "Session chhey aur programmer teen. Bahoot naainsaafi hai.

" [logout - logout - logout].

"Haan ab theek hai... ab tera kya hoga" Kaalia?"

Kaalia: "Sarkaar, maine aapka code likha tha."

Gabbar: "To ab documentation kar!

Sky wars(Ad Wars of Airlines)

Java Interview With Sardhar

Q. How will you call an Applet from a Java Script?
A. I will give invitation Card.


Q. What is JVM ?
A. Jilebi, Vada & Maaza


Q. Explain 2 tier and 3 -tier Architecture ?
A. Two wheelers like scooters will have 2 tyres and autorickshaws will
have 3 tyres.


Q. I want to store more than 10 objects in a remote server ? Which
methodology will follow ?
A. Send it through courier.


Q. Can I modify an object in CORBA ?
A. As you wish , I do not have any objections.


Q. How to communicate 2 threads each other ?
A. Non living things can't communicate.


Q. What is meant by flickering ?
A. Closing and opening of eyes at girls.


Q. Explain RMI Architecture?
A. I am a computer professional not an architect student.


Q. What is the use of Servlets ?
A. In hotels, they can replace servers.


Q. What is the dif ference between Process and Threads ?
A. Threads are small ropes. Make a rope from threads is an example for
process.


Q. When is update method called ?
A. Who is update method?


Q. What is JAR file ?
A. File that can be kept inside a jar.


Q. What is JINI ?
A. A ghost which was Aladdin's friend.


Q. How you can know about drivers and database information ?
A. I will go and enquire in the bus depot.


Q. What is serialization ?
A. Arranging one after the other from left to right.


Q. What is bean ? Where it can be used ?
A. A kind of vegetable. In kitchens for cooking they can be used.


Q. Write down how will you create a binary Tree ?
A. When we sow a binary seed , a binary tree will grow.


Q. What is the exact difference between Unicast and Multicast object ?
A. If in a society, if there is only one caste, then it is Unicast,
else it is multicast

water on Mars !! Nasa Pic..superb

M.B.A -> Best pic to define MBA.....

can you use Marker like this ??

Who works for India ?

The population of India is 100 crores.

100,000,00,000

But 19 crores are retired -19,000,00,000

That leaves 81 crores do the work 81,000,00,000

There are 25 crores in school - 25,000,00,000

which leaves 56 crores to do the work- 56,000,00,000

Of this there are 22 crores employed by the Central Govt -22,000,00,000 ( No Use )

leaving 34 crores to do the work 34,000,00,000

4 crores are in the Armed Forces -4,000,00,000 (Salute them)

which leaves 30 crores to do the work -30,000,00,0 00

Take away from above total the 20 crores people work for State Governments

(State Government employees officially do not work!)

-20,000,00,000

and that leaves 10 crores to do the work 10,000,00,000

Total unemployed are 8 crores -8,000,00,000

and that leaves 2 crores to do the work -2,000,00,000

At any given time there are 1.2 crore people in hospitals -1,200,00,000

leaving 80 lakhs to do the work 80,00,000

Now, according to Indian Statistical Institute, there are -79,99,998

people are in prisons throughout the country -79,99,998

That leaves just 2 people to do the work.......

2

You and me!!!


And currently YOU are sitting at your computer reading my BLOG .

So I am the only person in our country who is working! And that's why India
is surviving!!!

Now, please log out and do your job because, for a change, I
want to rest. And I don't want India to suffer because of that.

Telangana Style Pelli Pilupu

Check the language used in the Marriage Invitation..that is typical Telangana languange which people in rural telangana uses...even some people in HYD also uses that slang..

its so funny................ u can't stop laughing.. i bet.. :)