Check out this sleek successor of the Nokia 8800! Nokia has yet to announce this phone, but this official-looking picture here, and various in-the-wild shots are already circulating the internet like wildfire.
The phone will have Series 40, a 2-megapixel camera, quad-band GPRS/EDGE, Bluetooth, and a QVGA display.
Also, the phone’s already been approved by the FCC. It might not be long before Nokia announces it.
Now I’m torn between iPhone and this…
Gabbar sends Kaalia and two others to Ramgad to collect the loot-maar software he had ordered.
They reach Ramgad and start shouting: "Abe O thakur! Kahan hai woh loot-maar software?
Last date to kab ka nikal gaya".
Thakur [with anger]: "Chillao mat! jaakar Gabbar se kah do ki Thakur Software walon ne paagal kutton ke liye software banana bund kar diya hai."
Kaalia: "Bahoot garmi dikha rahe ho thakur? Koi naye programmers hire kiye hain kya?"
Thakur: "Nazar uttha ke dekh, Kaalia, tere sar par powerbuilder chal raha hai."
Kaalia looks up and sees Viru (Dharmendra) working on a PC on one Water tank and Jay (Amitabh) on another, using a laptop.
Kaalia Starts Laughing and says: "Ha ha... thakur ne freshers ko liya hai ye log Programming karenge? In ko to DOS commands bhi nahin aate."
Veeru shouts: "Chup-chaap chala ja kutte. Hum log consultants hain, Kuch bhi kar sakte hain."
Jay hits his keyboard,then says:"jaao kaalia, Gabbar se kahna ki uska server down ho gaya."
AT GABBAR'S DEN...
Gabbar: "Kitne bugs the?"
Kaalia: "Do sarkaar."
Gabbar: "Wo do! Aur tum teen. Phir bhi fix nahi kar sake? Kya soch key aaye ho? Gabbar bahoot khush hoga? Naya assignment dega ...aur increment bhi? Iski saza milegi... barobar milegi.
" [Snatches an X terminal from Sambaa]. "Kitne sessions hain is machine mein?"
Sambaa: "Chhey sarkaar."
Gabbar: "Session chhey aur programmer teen. Bahoot naainsaafi hai.
" [logout - logout - logout].
"Haan ab theek hai... ab tera kya hoga" Kaalia?"
Kaalia: "Sarkaar, maine aapka code likha tha."
Gabbar: "To ab documentation kar!
Q. How will you call an Applet from a Java Script?
A. I will give invitation Card.
Q. What is JVM ?
A. Jilebi, Vada & Maaza
Q. Explain 2 tier and 3 -tier Architecture ?
A. Two wheelers like scooters will have 2 tyres and autorickshaws will
have 3 tyres.
Q. I want to store more than 10 objects in a remote server ? Which
methodology will follow ?
A. Send it through courier.
Q. Can I modify an object in CORBA ?
A. As you wish , I do not have any objections.
Q. How to communicate 2 threads each other ?
A. Non living things can't communicate.
Q. What is meant by flickering ?
A. Closing and opening of eyes at girls.
Q. Explain RMI Architecture?
A. I am a computer professional not an architect student.
Q. What is the use of Servlets ?
A. In hotels, they can replace servers.
Q. What is the dif ference between Process and Threads ?
A. Threads are small ropes. Make a rope from threads is an example for
process.
Q. When is update method called ?
A. Who is update method?
Q. What is JAR file ?
A. File that can be kept inside a jar.
Q. What is JINI ?
A. A ghost which was Aladdin's friend.
Q. How you can know about drivers and database information ?
A. I will go and enquire in the bus depot.
Q. What is serialization ?
A. Arranging one after the other from left to right.
Q. What is bean ? Where it can be used ?
A. A kind of vegetable. In kitchens for cooking they can be used.
Q. Write down how will you create a binary Tree ?
A. When we sow a binary seed , a binary tree will grow.
Q. What is the exact difference between Unicast and Multicast object ?
A. If in a society, if there is only one caste, then it is Unicast,
else it is multicast
The survey assigned values to various brands based on their financial strength and consumer sentiment. 1. Google Google, with a brand value of $66.434 billion, is the world's most powerful brand. The global search engine giant was started as a research project in January 1996 by Larry Page and Sergey Brin, two Ph.D students at Stanford University, California. Google Inc was incorporated on September 7, 1998, at a friend's garage in Menlo Park, California. The company, known for its innovations and stupendous growth rate, went public on August 19, 2004. Page and Brin's search engine was originally called BackRub. The name 'Google' originated from 'googol,' which refers to the number represented by a 1 followed by one-hundred zeros. Eric E. Schmidt is the CEO of Google, while co-founder Sergey Brin and Larry page are Technology President and Products President, respectively. The company is listed on the Nasdaq stock exchange under the symbol GOOG. 'Google' is now a verb, having found its way into the dictionary. It means 'to use the Google search engine to obtain information on the Internet.'
second most powerful brand. GE is a giant US multinational, with headquarters in Fairfield, Connecticut, engaged in technology and services industries. It is the world's second largest company in terms of market capitalisation. The famous inventor Thomas Alva Edison opened a new laboratory in Menlo Park, New Jersey in 1876, where the incandescent electric lamp was invented. By 1890, Edison formed the Edison General Electric Company. In 1879, Elihu Thomson and Edwin J. Houston formed the Thomson-Houston Electric Company to rival Edison's firm. However, in 1892, both the companies merged to give birth to the General Electric Company. GE slowly began to diversify its operations. Today its businesses span information technology, financial services, industrial technology, aviation, healthcare, oil and gas, films and entertainment, theme parks, locomotives, insurance, etc. In India, too, GE's enjoys widespread presence. Jeffrey Immelt is GE's chairman & CEO; while Keith Sherin is the CFO, and Robert Wright is GE vice chairman.
over $44.28 billion. With a brand value of $54.951 billion, it also is the planet's third most powerful brand. Bill Gates, the world's richest man, is the executive chairman of the software giant which he co-founded along with Paul Allen in 1975. On June 25, 1981, the company was incorporated. On August 12, 1981, IBM introduced its personal computer with Microsoft's 16-bit operating system, MS-DOS 1.0. On Feb 26, 1986, Microsoft moved to corporate campus in Redmond, Washington, and on March 13, 1986, Microsoft stock went public. On May 22, 1990, Microsoft launched Windows 3.0 . On November 20, 1985, Microsoft released its first retail version of Microsoft Windows, originally a graphical extension for its MS-DOS operating system. Gates is equally admired for his insight and criticised for his business tactics. Steve Ballmer is the company's CEO, while Ray Ozzie is chief software architect. Microsoft employs 76,000 people across 102 countries.
powerful brand. Coca-Cola, a carbonated soft drink, was intended as a patent medicine when it was invented in 1885 by Dr. John Stith Pemberton in Covington, Georgia. It was then called Pemberton's French Wine Coca. Pemberton's partner and bookkeeper, Frank M Robinson, suggested the name and penned the now famous trademark 'Coca-Cola' in his unique script. Coca-Cola was bought over by businessman Asa Griggs Candler in 1887 and incorporated it as the Coca Cola Company in 1892. Griggs made the brand a force to reckon with through his marketing strategies. Coca-Cola was sold in bottles for the first time on March 12, 1894. In 1919, a group of investors headed by Ernest Woodruff and W C Bradley purchased The Coca-Cola Company for $25 million. Coca-Cola is also the world's best known brand. E Neville Isdell is the company's chairman and chief executive officer.
brand. Marlboro, made by Altria, is the world's best selling cigarette brand. It is famous for its billboard advertisements and magazine ads of the Marlboro Man. Philip Morris, a London-based cigarette manufacturer, created a New York subsidiary in 1902 to sell several of its cigarette brands, including Marlboro. Marlboro then suddenly faltered badly in the market till the 1950s, when it made a rollicking comeback following the introduction of a new cowboy image for the brand. Sales skyrocketed by 5,000%. Marlboro with a filtered tip was launched in 1955. The brand is named after Great Marlborough Street, the location of its original London factory. Richmond, Virginia, is now the location of the largest Marlboro cigarette manufacturing plant. Altria CEO & chairman is Louis Camilleri. The 'Marlboro Man'.
Wal-Mart Stores is an American public corporation and the world's largest retailer. It is the largest private employer, the largest grocery retailer, and the largest toy seller in the United States. It was founded by Sam Walton, who opened his first Wal-Mart discount store in Rogers, Arkansas, in 1962. The company was incorporated on October 31, 1969, and listed on the New York Stock Exchange in 1972. Sam Walton died on April 5, 1992 at the age of 74. His widow Helen R Walton, daughter Alice L Walton, and sons Jim C Walton, John T Walton and S Robson Walton, each with a personal wealth of $20.5 billion, have all been ranked among the richest Americans by Forbes. H Lee Scott is Wal-Mart CEO, while S Robson Walton, is the retail giant's chairman.
Inc was formed following the $140 billion merger of Citicorp and Travelers Group on April 7, 1998 to create the world's largest financial services organisation. The company employs almost 300,000 people around the world. Travelers was founded in 1864 in Hartford, Connecticut. It dealt in insurance and is noted for many industry firsts: the first automobile policy, the first commercial airline policy, and the first policy for space travel. In the 1990s, it went through a series of mergers and acquisitions. It was bought by Primerica in 1993, but the resulting company retained the Travelers name. In 1995, it became The Travelers Group. It bought Aetna's property and casualty business in 1996. Citicorp was the descendant of First National City Bank, founded in New York City. It was one of the oldest banks in the United States (founded in 1812), and had the largest international branch presence of any United States headquartered bank. In the 1960s and 1970s, chairman Walter Wriston led the bank into sovereign debt and loan syndication. It was Writsen who led the technology of ATM cards before the the banks. He also spearheaded the name change to Citibank in the late 1970s. Charles Prince is the company's chairman & CEO.
computer technology corporation headquartered in Armonk, New York, USA. Till 2006 it was the world's largest computer company, but has now ceded the top spot to Hewlett-Packard. With over 350,000 employees worldwide, IBM is the largest information technology employer in the world. The company which became IBM was founded in 1888 as Herman Hollerith and the Tabulating Machine Company. It was incorporated as Computing Tabulating Recording Corporation (CTR) on June 15, 1911, and was listed on the New York Stock Exchange in 1916. IBM adopted its current name in 1924, where it became a Fortune 500 company. Samuel J Palmisano is IBM chairman & CEO.
world. Toyota Motor Corporation is a Japanese multinational corporation and the world's largest auto company that manufactures automobiles, trucks, buses, and robots. The headquarters of Toyota are located in Toyota, Aichi, Japan. It is the world's eighth largest company by revenue of $179 billion as of 2006. The company was founded in 1937 by Kiichiro Toyoda as a spinoff from his father's company Toyota Industries to create automobiles. It created, first as a department of Toyota Industries, its first product Type A engine in 1934 and its first passenger car in 1936. Toyota Motor Co. was established as an independent company in 1937. Although the founding family name is Toyoda, the company name was changed in order to signify the separation of the founders' work life from home life, to simplify the pronunciation, and to give the company a happy beginning. Toyota is considered luckier than Toyoda in Japan. Katsuaki Watanabe is Toyota's president and CEO, while Fujio Cho is chairman. Shoichiro Toyoda is the company's honorary chairman; Hiroshi Okuda is senior advisor; and Katsuhiro Nakagawa is vice chairman. 
A Visas (Official Visas)
A-1: For Ambassadors, public ministers & consular officers
A-2: For immediate family members of A-1
A-3: Attendants & servants of A-1 and A-2 holders
B (Business/Visitor) Visa
B-1 Temporary visitor for business
B-2 Temporary visitor for leisure
C & D Visa (For Aliens in transit)
C-1,2: Alien in transit directly through US
C-3: Family of C-1,C-2 in transit
C-4: Transit without Visa(TWOV)
D-1: Sailors departing on vessel of arrival
D-2: Sailors departing by other means
E - Visa (For Traders/Investors)
E-1 Treaty Trader, spouse and children
E-2 Treaty Investor, spouse and children
F Visa (Students)
Want to study or research at a U.S. college? Then F is the visa for you -
F-1: Academic Student
F-2: Spouse or child of F-1
H (Temporary Worker) Visa
H-1B: Persons in a specialty occupation
H-2B: Seasonal nonagricultural workers
H-3: Trainees other than medical/academic; also training of handicaps
H-4: Dependants of H visa holders
I Visa (Mediapersons)
Are you a reporter, film person, Editor? Then you require an I-visa - Essential docs: Your press ID, a letter from the editor.
J & Q Exchange Visitor Visa
J-1 exchange visitors may be academics, scientists, business people or students.
J-1: Visas for exchange visitors
J-2: Spouse or 'child' of J-1 under 21
Fiance(e) of US Citizen
K-1 Fiance(e)
K-2 Minor child of K-1
K-3 Spouse of a U.S. Citizen (LIFE Act)
K-4 Child of K-3 (LIFE Act)
Docs: Marriage certificate & Photos, Intent of marrying within 90 days in US(for K1). -- Ã For those who are looking to settle down, well, this is the way to go. J
L Visa (Intracompany Transferees)
L-1A Executive, managerial
L-1B Specialized knowledge
L-2 Spouse or child of L-1
Vocational and Language Students
M-1 Vocational student or other non-academic student
M-2 Spouse or child of M-1
O -Visa (For Prodigies)
O-1: For a Genius in Sciences, Arts, Education, Business, or Athletics.
O-2: Alien's (support) accompanying O-1
O-3: Spouse or child of O-1 or O-2
Athletes and Entertainers
P-1: Athletes & Entertainment groups
P-2: Entertainers in exchange programs
P-3: Entertainers in cultural programs
P-4: Spouse or child of P-1, 2, or 3
R-Visa (Religious Workers)
R-1 Religious workers
R-2 Spouse or child of R-1
A student asks a teacher, "What is love?"
The teacher said, "in order to answer your question, go to the wheat field and choose the biggest wheat and come back. But the rule is: - you can go through them only once & cannot turn back to pick."
The student went to the field, go thru first row, he saw one big wheat, but he wonders....may be there is a bigger one later. Then he saw another bigger one... but may be there is an even bigger one waiting for him. Later, when he finished more than half of the wheat field, he starts to realise that the wheat is not as big as the previous one he saw, he knew he has missed the biggest one, and he regretted. So, he ended up went back to the teacher with empty hand. The teacher told him, "...this is love... you keep looking for better ones, but when later you realise, you have already missed the person...."*
"What is marriage then?" the student asked.
The teacher said, "in order to answer your question, go to the corn field and choose the biggest corn and come back. But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick."
The student went to the corn field, this time he is careful not to repeat the previous mistake, when he reach the middle of the field, he has picked one medium sized corn that he felt satisfied, and came back to the teacher.
The teacher told him, "this time you bring back a corn.... you look for one that is just nice, and you have faith and believe this is the best one you get.... this is marriage."*
(In Telugu)
In his meeting with his Project Leader after a long time, Ravik explodes ....
Antha meere cheesaru... Motham meere cheesaru....
Chalu Sir... vachinnapadinunchi meeru naacheta cheyinchindi chalu, nenu kolpoindi chalu, inka oddu please....
sir: emindi ravik neeku? em kolpoyavu?
Inka ardam kaaleda meeku. Ee COMPANY ki ochhinappudu naa deggara emundo, velipoyetappudu emiledho ade Sir nenu kolipoindi- Programming skills.
Chinna chinna skills kuda kolipoyanu Sir meevalla.
Meereppudu mee team cheta goppa project cheyinchali, R&D work cheyinchalani alochistharu. Kaani nakem vachoo, nenemi cheyyagalanoo meeru thelusukooru.
sir: rey ravik..neeku edina pani ichemundu dani gurinchi 1000 sarlu aalochista ani neeku telusu kada ra.. !
Avunu.... 1000 saarlu client requirements satisfy ayyaya ani alochisthaare tappa, oka saari ayina nenu adi chayyagalanaa ani alochinchhara.
cheyyagaligina danikanna ekkuva work ivvadamlo satisfaction meeku telusu, kaani ichina work avvakapothe andhulo unde baadha meeku thelidu- naaku thelusu.
Asalu naatho maatladithega theliseedi nenemi chestunnanoo. Edaina problem unte team lo vunna migilina vaallani pilichi maatlaaduthaaru. Naatho maatladandi Sir. Na work choosi cheppandi Sir. Friendly ga undandi Sir.
sir: nene kada ra neetho eppudu friendly ga vundara ani cheppedi.. !
Chepputhaaru , kani undaru. Endukante antha meeku nachhinatte jaragalikada.
Cheyyalsina Language meere select chesthaaru, meere super antaru, kani adi work out avutundoo ledoo kooda choodakundane meeru nanne convince chesesthaaru.
Naku ela untundo telusa- idi raadu... nenu cheyyalenu ani aravalani anipistundi.
USE CASES cheyyamantaru. Nenu chestanu. Kaani cheselope LLD ki marchestaru. Navvuthunnru Sir naa project choosi maa freinds.
Hey ravik.... sample program cheyyi antaru. Nenedoo code raastaanu.
Meermoo CODING STANDARDS follow avvu.... COMMENTS rayyi.....FUNCTIONS RAYATAM try cheyyi....
ani roju naa chutto tirugutoo arustoo vuntaru.
Nenelaa code rayaloo kooda meere decide chesesthe...nenu enduku Sir program raayadam....
Chivariki program elaa debug cheyyaaloo kooda meere cheppestunte... Complie kavatam ledu Sir.
Meeku teleedu. meeru cheppindi cheyyalekaa, naaku vachhindi cheppaleeka, narakam choosanu Sir... narakam.
Frustration, kopam, chiraaku. Evarimeedha choopinchaalo, ela choopinchaalo kooda theliyakapothe chivariki oka rooju Ileana(Ravik lover) meeda kooda arichesaanu. Daanitho Ileana naatho matladatham manesindi……. Asalu nenendhuku ala unnano Ileana ke ardam kakapothe inka meekela telustundi Sir.
Ippudu neenemi cheyali Sir. BUGS FIX cheyyali..anthe kadaa. Chestanu Sir. Kaani ippatidaaka nenu chesinaa UI DESIGNING....PROGRAMMING …. evemi work out kaaledu Sir.
Kaani ippudu chestunna Singapore project kachitam gaa Reuslt ravali. kaani edo oka roju adi kooda raadu ani telisipotundi kadaa. Appudu naa project spoil ayyindi ani meere badhapadataru.
Inthavaraku meeroka guide gaa gelichaanu anukuntunaaru kadaa ???. Kaani mimmalni gelipinchadaaniki rendu yellaga neenu odipothoone unnanu.
ilaage oddipothu unthe, year ending lo entra naa project ani chooste andulo emi vundadu.
Innallu nenu project cheyyatledu sir, chestunnattu act chesanu, ika mundu kooda alage untanu.
Kaani naado request sir... nenu cheyyaleni work ichhesi nenedo cheseyyalani maathram korukovoddu sir, please….
It's half past 8 in the office but the lights are still on...PCs still running, coffee machines still buzzing... and who's at work?
Most of them??? Take a closer look......
All or most specimens are?????-some male species of the human race!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...
Look close... again all or most of them are bachelors...and why are they sitting late? Working hard? No way!!!
Any guesses???
Let's ask one of them...
Here's what he says... "What's there to do after going home... here we get to surf the Net, AC, Phone, Food, Coffee.. That is why I am working late...most importantly no bossssssss!!!!!!!!!!!
This is the scene in most Research centers and Software companies and other Off-shore offices.
Bachelors "time-passing" during late hours in the office just because they say they've nothing else to do...
Now what are the consequences... read on...
"Working"(for the record only) late hours soon becomes part of the institute or company culture.
With bosses more than eager to provide support to those "working" late in the form of Taxi vouchers, Food vouchers and of course Good feedback,(oh, he's a hard worker... goes home only to change..!!).They aren't helping things too... To hell with bosses who don't understand the difference between "sitting" late and "working" late!!!
Very soon, the boss starts expecting all employees to put in extra working hours.
So, my dear Bachelors, let me tell you, life changes when u get married and start having a family... Office is no longer a priority, Family is... and that's when the problem starts... because you start having commitments at home too!!!!!!.
1. For your boss, the earlier "hardworking" guy suddenly seems to become an "early leaver" even if u leave an hour after regular time... after doing the same amount of work.
2. People leaving on time after doing their tasks for the day are labeled as work-shirkers...
3. Girls who thankfully always (its changing nowadays... though) leave on time are labeled as "not up to it".
All the while, the bachelors pat their own backs and carry on "working" not realizing that they are spoiling the work culture at their own place and never realize that they would have to regret at one point of time.
So what's the moral of the story?? *
* Very clear, LEAVE ON TIME!!!
* Never put in extra time " *unless really needed*
* Don't stay back un-necessarily and spoil your company work culture which will in turn cause inconvenience to you and your colleagues.
There are hundred other things to do in the evening..
* Learn music...
* Learn a foreign language...
* Try a sport... TT, Cricket, Exercise etc etc
* Importantly Get a girl friend or gal friend, take him/her around town...
* And for heaven's sake, Internet cafe rates have dropped to an all-time low (plus, no fire-walls) and try cooking for a change.
* Take a tip from the Smirnoff ad: *"Life's calling, where are you??"*
* Please pass on this message to all those colleagues and please do it before leaving time, don't stay back till midnight to forward this!!!
IT'S A TYPICAL INDIAN MENTALITY THAT WORKING FOR LONG HOURS MEANS VERY HARD WORKING & 100% COMMITMENT ETC. PEOPLE WHO REGULARLY SIT LATE IN THE OFFICE DON'T KNOW HOW TO MANAGE THEIR TIME.
That's the Bottom Line......SIMPLE!!!!!!!!
Narayan Murthy. shortly NRN :)
Girls’ relationship with guys is a bigger mystery than girls themselves.
It’s not just about boyfriends, we’re talking about guy friends that gals have.
Do you have a gal who is just a friend? Are confused why the frequency of calls increases as exams loom closer? Or why she always hangs around with the moron who isn’t fit to wear Jeetendra’s white shoes? Here’s a ready reckoner for you:
% just a friend %
Well, you are like a show piece in my house. I will call you whenever I need you. If you call me home the chances are 9 out of 10 times she might say, “Oh Ravik, I am going out can you call me after 2 days??”
Ravik: “Where are you going Anushka??”
Anushka: “None of your business” and bangs the phone.(Useless fellow.Hmmph!).
% Good Friend %
You are like a TV remote control. I need you and I know that. But I try using you when I really need you.
Ravik calls: “Hi Anushka”,
Anushka: “Hi Ravik. I am going out with family I will call you back. Bye”
(Anushka calls back after two days)
Anushka: “What do you want Ravik? Why did you call that day?”.
Ravik: “Generally”.
Anushka: “Oh ok. I got to go out. Will call you later. Bye.”
Will call when she needs lecture notes or some concert tickets.
% Very good friend %
Well you are like the pressure cooker safety value for the girl.
She will need you when she wants to bring out her pain or anger on someone.
Basically, she wants to talk to you. And you are special to her.
Anushka: “You know Ravik, Mahesh babu is not eating. He doesn’t sleep and is not able to concentrate on his studies. I think he doesn’t like me anymore. And yesterday I saw him with another girl”.
Ravik: “Who is Mahesh??”
Anushka: “My boyfriend.”
Ravik: Oh! Ok.
% Best Friend %
You are like the auto rickshaw driver. She can’t live without you.
And don’t be mistaken. You are not her boyfriend. But you are allowed to take her little doggie around the park so that he (not you!) can have fun.
Ravik Shopping. Ravik Movie. Ravik Coffee. Ravik,you pay. I am having fun.
Ravik is now sure that he should go ahead and propose. He dares.
Anushka: “But I thought we were just friends. We should remain friends
Ravik. Plus, I have a boy friend you know that.”
Ravik: What?? (Ravik drinks all night).
% Best of the Bestest Friends %
Ok now you are really special.
You are dad-cum-boyfriend-cum-brother-cum-everything.
Ultimately you are the darling servant of the girl.
You take her around.
You make her project.
You do her assignments.
You are allowed to take her doggie around.
You can hold hands on the beach.
You can see the sun set with her (because she wants to do everything she drags you along).
But but but… Don’t be mistaken. She has a boyfriend who works for a huge software company and earns 3 times the salary you earn and has a flat in PoesGardenor Boat Club or Hiranandani area.
Anushka: “Hi Ravik. I am getting engaged to Mahesh. Mahesh this is Ravik, he is my bestest friend”.
Ravik: Hi Mahesh . (Hand shake. Mahesh breaks Ravik’s wrist).
Ravik is now heart broken and wrist broken.
% Boyfriend %
Uh… No comments dude. You’re already Gone!
********
Now ~ where do you stand?
********
After 2 years of selfless service, a man realized that he has not been promoted, no transfer, no salary increment, no commendation. So he decided to walk up to his HR Manager. His manager looked at him, smiled and asked him to sit down saying:"My friend you have not worked here for even a single day." The man was surprised to hear this, but the manager went on to explain.
Manager: How many days are there in a year? Man: 365 days and sometimes 366. Manager: How many hours make up a day?
Universal Law oOf Love:
" Love Can Neither Be Created Nor Be Destroyed; Only It Can Transfer From One Girlfriend To Another Girlfriend With Some Loss Of Money "
First Law of Love:
"A Boy In Love With A Girl, Continue To Be In Love With Her And A Girl In Love With A Boy, Continue To Be In Love With Him, Until Or Unless Any External Agent(Brother Or Father Of The Gal) Comes Into Play And Break The Legs Of The Boy. "
Second Law of Love:
"The Rate Of Change Of Intensity Of Love Of A Girl Towards A Boy Is Directly Proportional To The Instantaneous Bank Balance Of The Boy And The Direction Of This Love Is Same To As Increment Or Decrement Of The Bank Balance. "
Third Law of Love:
" The Force Applied While Proposing A Girl By A Boy Is Equal And Opposite To The Force Applied By The Girl While Slapping."
"COMPETITIVE SALARY" --- TCS
We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.
"JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY" --- ACCENTURE
We have no time to train you.
"CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE" -- COGNIZANT
we don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up.
"MUST BE DEADLINE-ORIENTED" - SIEMENS
You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.
"SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED" --- WIPRO
Some time each night and some time each weekend.
"DUTIES WILL VARY" --- IBM
Anyone in the office can boss you around.
"MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL" --- POLARIS
We have no quality control.
"CAREER-MINDED" --- SAPLABS
Female Applicants must be childless (and remain that way).
"APPLY IN PERSON" --- AOL
If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told the position has been filled.
"NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE" --- NOVELL
We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.
"SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE" --- HCL
You'll need it to replace three people who just left.
"PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST" --- INFOSYS
You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.
"REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS" --- SATYAM
You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.
