the ONLY Time Pass for Software People on BENCH........
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Man is like a King of house.. he got the full power.. commands .. orders.. and wife is like a servant.. stays in house all the time and serves her husband !! but later some good(!) people decided to give freedom to women and thus the scenerio is TODAY’s wife….
thus with that freedom.. Man and Women got equal rights..and thus all the time quaralleing for rights..and trying to play DOMINATION game.. all da time.. if the same thing continues..then the result is FUTURE wife.. (already it started.. in some cities.. )
no need to tell anything.. the picture itself tells u……………
The teacher said, "in order to answer your question, go to the wheat field and choose the biggest wheat and come back. But the rule is: - you can go through them only once & cannot turn back to pick."
The student went to the field, go thru first row, he saw one big wheat, but he wonders....may be there is a bigger one later. Then he saw another bigger one... but may be there is an even bigger one waiting for him. Later, when he finished more than half of the wheat field, he starts to realise that the wheat is not as big as the previous one he saw, he knew he has missed the biggest one, and he regretted. So, he ended up went back to the teacher with empty hand. The teacher told him, "...this is love... you keep looking for better ones, but when later you realise, you have already missed the person...."*
"What is marriage then?" the student asked.
The teacher said, "in order to answer your question, go to the corn field and choose the biggest corn and come back. But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick."
The student went to the corn field, this time he is careful not to repeat the previous mistake, when he reach the middle of the field, he has picked one medium sized corn that he felt satisfied, and came back to the teacher.
The teacher told him, "this time you bring back a corn.... you look for one that is just nice, and you have faith and believe this is the best one you get.... this is marriage."*
Inka ardam kaaleda meeku. Ee COMPANY ki ochhinappudu naa deggara emundo, velipoyetappudu emiledho ade Sir nenu kolipoindi- Programming skills. Chinna chinna skills kuda kolipoyanu Sir meevalla.
Meereppudu mee team cheta goppa project cheyinchali, R&D work cheyinchalani alochistharu. Kaani nakem vachoo, nenemi cheyyagalanoo meeru thelusukooru.
sir: rey ravik..neeku edina pani ichemundu dani gurinchi 1000 sarlu aalochista ani neeku telusu kada ra.. !
Avunu.... 1000 saarlu client requirements satisfy ayyaya ani alochisthaare tappa, oka saari ayina nenu adi chayyagalanaa ani alochinchhara. cheyyagaligina danikanna ekkuva work ivvadamlo satisfaction meeku telusu, kaani ichina work avvakapothe andhulo unde baadha meeku thelidu- naaku thelusu.
Asalu naatho maatladithega theliseedi nenemi chestunnanoo. Edaina problem unte team lo vunna migilina vaallani pilichi maatlaaduthaaru. Naatho maatladandi Sir. Na work choosi cheppandi Sir. Friendly ga undandi Sir.
sir: nene kada ra neetho eppudu friendly ga vundara ani cheppedi.. !
Cheyyalsina Language meere select chesthaaru, meere super antaru, kani adi work out avutundoo ledoo kooda choodakundane meeru nanne convince chesesthaaru. Naku ela untundo telusa- idi raadu... nenu cheyyalenu ani aravalani anipistundi.
USE CASES cheyyamantaru. Nenu chestanu. Kaani cheselope LLD ki marchestaru. Navvuthunnru Sir naa project choosi maa freinds.
It's half past 8 in the office but the lights are still on...PCs still running, coffee machines still buzzing... and who's at work? Most of them??? Take a closer look...... All or most specimens are?????-some male species of the human race!!!!!!!!!!!!!!... Look close... again all or most of them are bachelors...and why are they sitting late? Working hard? No way!!! Any guesses??? Let's ask one of them... Here's what he says... "What's there to do after going home... here we get to surf the Net, AC, Phone, Food, Coffee.. That is why I am working late...most importantly no bossssssss!!!!!!!!!!! This is the scene in most Research centers and Software companies and other Off-shore offices. Bachelors "time-passing" during late hours in the office just because they say they've nothing else to do... Now what are the consequences... read on... "Working"(for the record only) late hours soon becomes part of the institute or company culture. With bosses more than eager to provide support to those "working" late in the form of Taxi vouchers, Food vouchers and of course Good feedback,(oh, he's a hard worker... goes home only to change..!!).They aren't helping things too... To hell with bosses who don't understand the difference between "sitting" late and "working" late!!! Very soon, the boss starts expecting all employees to put in extra working hours. So, my dear Bachelors, let me tell you, life changes when u get married and start having a family... Office is no longer a priority, Family is... and that's when the problem starts... because you start having commitments at home too!!!!!!. 1. For your boss, the earlier "hardworking" guy suddenly seems to become an "early leaver" even if u leave an hour after regular time... after doing the same amount of work. 2. People leaving on time after doing their tasks for the day are labeled as work-shirkers... 3. Girls who thankfully always (its changing nowadays... though) leave on time are labeled as "not up to it". All the while, the bachelors pat their own backs and carry on "working" not realizing that they are spoiling the work culture at their own place and never realize that they would have to regret at one point of time. So what's the moral of the story?? * * Very clear, LEAVE ON TIME!!! * Never put in extra time " *unless really needed* * Don't stay back un-necessarily and spoil your company work culture which will in turn cause inconvenience to you and your colleagues. There are hundred other things to do in the evening.. * Learn music... * Learn a foreign language... * Try a sport... TT, Cricket, Exercise etc etc * Importantly Get a girl friend or gal friend, take him/her around town... * And for heaven's sake, Internet cafe rates have dropped to an all-time low (plus, no fire-walls) and try cooking for a change. * Take a tip from the Smirnoff ad: *"Life's calling, where are you??"* * Please pass on this message to all those colleagues and please do it before leaving time, don't stay back till midnight to forward this!!!
IT'S A TYPICAL INDIAN MENTALITY THAT WORKING FOR LONG HOURS MEANS VERY HARD WORKING & 100% COMMITMENT ETC. PEOPLE WHO REGULARLY SIT LATE IN THE OFFICE DON'T KNOW HOW TO MANAGE THEIR TIME.
Girls’ relationship with guys is a bigger mystery than girls themselves. It’s not just about boyfriends, we’re talking about guy friends that gals have.
Do you have a gal who is just a friend? Are confused why the frequency of calls increases as exams loom closer? Or why she always hangs around with the moron who isn’t fit to wear Jeetendra’s white shoes? Here’s a ready reckoner for you:
% just a friend %
Well, you are like a show piece in my house. I will call you whenever I need you. If you call me home the chances are 9 out of 10 times she might say, “Oh Ravik, I am going out can you call me after 2 days??”
Ravik: “Where are you going Anushka??”
Anushka: “None of your business” and bangs the phone.(Useless fellow.Hmmph!).
% Good Friend %
You are like a TV remote control. I need you and I know that. But I try using you when I really need you.
Ravik calls: “Hi Anushka”,
Anushka: “Hi Ravik. I am going out with family I will call you back. Bye”
(Anushka calls back after two days)
Anushka: “What do you want Ravik? Why did you call that day?”.
Ravik: “Generally”.
Anushka: “Oh ok. I got to go out. Will call you later. Bye.”
Will call when she needs lecture notes or some concert tickets.
% Very good friend %
Well you are like the pressure cooker safety value for the girl.
She will need you when she wants to bring out her pain or anger on someone.
Basically, she wants to talk to you. And you are special to her.
Anushka: “You know Ravik, Mahesh babu is not eating. He doesn’t sleep and is not able to concentrate on his studies. I think he doesn’t like me anymore. And yesterday I saw him with another girl”.
Ravik: “Who is Mahesh??”
Anushka: “My boyfriend.”
Ravik: Oh! Ok.
% Best Friend %
You are like the auto rickshaw driver. She can’t live without you.
And don’t be mistaken. You are not her boyfriend. But you are allowed to take her little doggie around the park so that he (not you!) can have fun.
Ravik Shopping. Ravik Movie. Ravik Coffee. Ravik,you pay. I am having fun.
Ravik is now sure that he should go ahead and propose. He dares.
Anushka: “But I thought we were just friends. We should remain friends
Ravik. Plus, I have a boy friend you know that.”
Ravik: What?? (Ravik drinks all night).
% Best of the Bestest Friends %
Ok now you are really special.
You are dad-cum-boyfriend-cum-brother-cum-everything.
Ultimately you are the darling servant of the girl.
You take her around.
You make her project.
You do her assignments.
You are allowed to take her doggie around.
You can hold hands on the beach.
You can see the sun set with her (because she wants to do everything she drags you along).
But but but… Don’t be mistaken. She has a boyfriend who works for a huge software company and earns 3 times the salary you earn and has a flat in PoesGardenor Boat Club or Hiranandani area.
Anushka: “Hi Ravik. I am getting engaged to Mahesh. Mahesh this is Ravik, he is my bestest friend”.
Ravik: Hi Mahesh . (Hand shake. Mahesh breaks Ravik’s wrist).
After 2 years of selfless service, a man realized that he has not been promoted, no transfer, no salary increment, no commendation. So he decided to walk up to his HR Manager. His manager looked at him, smiled and asked him to sit down saying:"My friend you have not worked here for even a single day." The man was surprised to hear this, but the manager went on to explain.
Manager: How many days are there in a year? Man: 365 days and sometimes 366. Manager: How many hours make up a day? Man: 24 Hours. Manager: How long do u work in a day? Man: 10am to 6pm i.e 8 hours a day. Manager: So, what fraction of the day do u work in hours? Man: He did some arithmetic and said 8/24 i.e 1/3 (one third). Manager: This is nice of u! what is 1/3rd of 366 days? Man: 122(1/3 x 366=122 in days) Manager: Do u come to work on weekends? Man: No sir. Manager: How many days r there in a year that r weekends? Man: 52 Saturdays and 52 Sundays equals to 104 days. Manager: Thanks for that. If u remove 104 days from 122 days. how many days do u now have? Man: 18 days. Manager: I do give u 2 weeks sick leave every year. Now remove that 14 days from the 18 days left. How many days do u have remaining? Man: 4 days. Manager: Do u work on Republic Day? Man: No sir! Manager: Do u come to work on Independence Day? Man: No sir! Manager:So how many days r left? Man: 2 days Sir! Manager: Do u come to work on New Years Day? Man: No sir! Manager:So how many days r left? Man: 1 day sir! Manager: Do u work on Christmas Day? Man: No Sir! Manager:So how many days r left? Man: None Sir! Manager: So what r u claiming?Man: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!... Moral - NEVER GO TO HR FOR HELP!!!HR-HIGH RISK.
" Love Can Neither Be Created Nor Be Destroyed; Only It Can Transfer From One Girlfriend To Another Girlfriend With Some Loss Of Money "
First Law of Love:
"A Boy In Love With A Girl, Continue To Be In Love With Her And A Girl In Love With A Boy, Continue To Be In Love With Him, Until Or Unless Any External Agent(Brother Or Father Of The Gal) Comes Into Play And Break The Legs Of The Boy. "
Second Law of Love:
"The Rate Of Change Of Intensity Of Love Of A Girl Towards A Boy Is Directly Proportional To The Instantaneous Bank Balance Of The Boy And The Direction Of This Love Is Same To As Increment Or Decrement Of The Bank Balance. "
Third Law of Love:
" The Force Applied While Proposing A Girl By A Boy Is Equal And Opposite To The Force Applied By The Girl While Slapping."
This is dedicated to all ladies who end up searching for a Perfect Man all their life time who can love them a lot and all the time..care for them a lot..do their work..help them all the time ..spend all his time with them..earn a lot.. buy any thing for them..call them Miss Universe.. praise them all the time.. !!!!! Enough.. this blog space is not enough to explain what they expect......!!! Gentlemen - U can have a good laugh at it.
"COMPETITIVE SALARY" --- TCS We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors. "JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY" --- ACCENTURE We have no time to train you. "CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE" -- COGNIZANT we don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up.
"MUST BE DEADLINE-ORIENTED" - SIEMENS You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.
"SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED" --- WIPRO Some time each night and some time each weekend. "DUTIES WILL VARY" --- IBM Anyone in the office can boss you around. "MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL" --- POLARIS We have no quality control. "CAREER-MINDED" --- SAPLABS Female Applicants must be childless (and remain that way). "APPLY IN PERSON" --- AOL If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told the position has been filled. "NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE" --- NOVELL We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality. "SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE" --- HCL You'll need it to replace three people who just left. "PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST" --- INFOSYS You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos. "REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS" --- SATYAM You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.
no need to tell anything.. the picture itself tells u……………
